#at least in my experience lol
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so funny how doctors always accuse patients of being manipulative, but lol doctors are some of the most manipulative assholes i've ever met
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I enjoyed Please Please Please and Espresso and have been listening to the new album this morning while I try and get stuff posted to AO3 and uh
There's one other song that's nice, otherwise it's your generally mid but perfectly fine pop album
Except for that fucking lyric in Slim Pickins. Girl, what the entire fuck was that vaguely homophobic bs abt exactly lmao
#tbh there's a lot of this that sounds like influence from a certain other blonde artist so I probably shouldn't be shocked by that#but i am a bit disappointed even tho I probably should have been expecting this lmao#this album also feels like a sign S.C. needs to do a lot of growing up re: relationships#maybe be single for a bit and learn how to live in your own skin bc my god does it make a difference#at least in my experience lol#really is a shame bc like. after taste and please please please the album up until slim pickins was genuinely like. okay this is mid but#good for a long summer drive as background noise/pleasant enough to the ear for writing background music too#but just that one line in slim has me reconsidering listening to anything of hers#other than taste; espresso; and please please please#genuinely sitting here typing tags bc I've got genius open in another tab and i'm putting off reading the lyrics to slim again like#nah she didn't really decide to evoke that old fucking bs in a pop song in 2024#but here we are lmaoooo
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"This place is called the Burial Mounds. The hatred is intense, isn't it? And the resentment too? When a living person enters this place, there's no coming back-- for the body or the soul. They can forget about ever escaping. Wei Wuxian, you, too, can forget about ever escaping."
(full resolution here)
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#mdzs fanart#wei wuxian#yiling patriarch#burial mounds#mxtx#fanart#art#i called this file “a wake” while working on it lol#do u ever think about how MXTX has declined to describe Wei Wuxian's time surviving the burial mounds the first time#because she says it would be too horrific to depict#at least after all of the suffering of his first life he eventually gets a happily ever after with his lan zhan#I wanted to portray what isn't really shown in the adaptations but could be a picture of what wwx's experience would've been like#hopefully this accomplishes that feeling#my drawings
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I've seen a few posts about women and pants now and many of them are very good, and not to nitpick those posts or downplay religious sexism or anything, but I have to emphasise:
Somebody who DOESN'T live in a controlling religious country/cult/family is also affected by sexism. We all know that, right? Secular parts of the first world also have opinions about how women dress, including when it comes to trousers, especially in childhood and in institutions like schools and the workplace
Me and many people my age (20s) remember being forced into skirts, punished and shamed by parents & teachers & peers & possibly then bosses about what we wear not being feminine enough, and it wasn't by deeply religious sects. Many updates to dress codes are very new and sexist views are still in place in many institutions. Normalised societal misogyny wants women (and people they want to treat as women) to dress femininely, down to what KIND of pants they're allowed to wear (compare a pink top and jeggings to mens jeans and tell me these two women are treated the same. Hating women in pantsuits is still a sexist office joke today, and even those outfits are feminine compared to male suits, which raise eyebrows when worn by women). The women I know who wear trousers regularly are literally otherwise feminine, and all wear dresses to events.
I know trousers have become much more normalised over the past few decades in secular society (yay!! the result of many many years of effort and lawbreaking) but let's not be absolute when we talk about the pants concept lol. Especially within a larger conversation about female/transmasc/intersex/transfem masculinity and social perceptions, especially in an age of rising fascism
#you know. misogyny?#transandrophobia#you're telling me only muslims and christians experience pants based sexism. in front of my salad?#i did not have screaming arguments with my nonbeliever non church attendee parents in the 2000s to have you lot --#sexism is Not strange or rare or fringe#pretend me wearing pants from then on was societally allowed. i got a talking to at school about pants.#i was scared i would have to wear a skirt at high school in the 2010s. thankfully the one i went to was more progressive#getting clocked as the only 'girl' in class wearing trousers without at leasts wearing a skirt over it#having older female AND male relatives pick up on the lack of a skirt/dress at events#yes some people think it's normal. and some people think being gay is normal. and some people dgaf if you're foreign or whatev#but existing some ways means you have certain experiences and there are certain risks hanging over you lol#just making this post bc some of you live in some extremely progressive USA city and have forgotten normal people exist /lighthearted#mum still shows me a polka dot dress i used to wear as a baby and asks me why i don't wear dresses. some dumb dress shes kept for 20 years#she wears trousers and dungarees sometimes. but that's the thing#pants are a temporary allowance. if that's all you wear then they hate that. you have to be Feminine when they demand#your wardrobe still carries sexist necessities before people start to look at you funny#if i went to an event like a wedding in a suit people would talk (closeted to most ppl irl)#anyway.#sending telepathic strength to anyone surrounded by so called progressives who have opinions on how they dress 👉👁️👁️👈
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[ID in alt]
He's on break :)
#it was fun experimenting with his design#since i haven't drawn him a lot until recently#and this is my first time actually coloring him lol#debated with myself for a while on if he should have a mouth or not#but settled on no mouth (for now at least)#anywayy hes so pretty#sunn art#undertale#grillby#fanart#artists on tumblr#dont repost
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job interview tomorrow at the zoo, wish me luck!!!
#i've been unemployed since the end of november and im losing my mind#but of all the places that i applied to i least expected the zoo#because i have zero experience... but it is making food for the animals so lol#it was my childhood dream to work in a zoo so im excited about it nonetheless#also maybe this will be my escape from healthcare
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance.
(Cole's cryptic comments + The Song)
#dragon age#dai gifs#flemeth#solas#cole#my gifs#you know.. isn't it interesting how DA4 seems to be going for a purple color scheme now?#....and if you mix blue and red you get WHAT?? 👀👀#EXACTLY#coincidence?? I think NOT lmao#if the ''song is sundered''... then what'll happen when everything sings the same again? 👀#then there's that one line from Solas in Haven..#''harmonizing with new magic in an unending symphony'' that's also a very interesting way of phrasing#there's that musical connotation again#but let me tell you..#listening to super eerie soundtracks while making this was certainly an experience 😶#I'm just happy I managed to make a gif set after 84 years....#and it only took me [insert unhealthy amount of hours]#hahaha 💀#at least I still remember how the flycam works lol
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Megan is for the girls…
#it’ll always be weird when ppl try to shame others for selling cheap tickets lol#like it shows that they care about their fans too and that they want them all to be able to experience them at concert regardless of class#it’s rly nice#she needs to come to Chicago 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#rambling#my sis and I would travel to see her at least#I want a meet and greet so bad… I need to draw something for her ahh#get them tickets while they’re hot!!!
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cute? D: (thank you so much!)
#detroit become human#gavin reed#i actually got two anons about gavin like three mins apart and idk if its the same person or not?#but this was one of them! the other is possible for another day but i sadly cannot manage a trio rn#but i appreciate both of you (or the singular entity if it was the same person idk)#im glad people appreciate the silly lil gavins i draw bc i like silly lil interactions#and i will be real with you guys i dont think hes present in the game enough for me to count as a real antagonist#like he IS antagonistic but not to the point id be like hes a villain#i know the fandom on ao3 at least will tag gavin reed redemption and just ? idk man hes just a lil guy#hostile lil guy who should probably go through weapons safety training again but ...#idk maybe its my own hostile work experiences and illegal work procedures influencing me but i just think hes a guy#so i like to draw him as just a guy#and im very glad it comes across as cute but not ooc or anything! i hope lol#i will try to draw for the other anon cause it was more specific but that will be at a later date lmao
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I’ve never felt so conflicted about a franchise in my life but at least this dude was hot
#I watched conquering the demons and demons strike back at 3am last night and I have to say I like the first one more#but not by a lot#like I wanted so much to like this movie#but fucking Duan man…#like I read the plot beforehand so I wouldn’t be caught off guard by anything but DAMN that SA scene was sooo much worse watching it#girl this is not the girlboss pussy slay move you think it is queen#I liked her character so much too before that cuz she’s so cool but the unconsented captive fuck or die foreplay was NOT the move#then she had the nerve to rip up sanzang’s book and turn to us and be like you know what I think I still have a chance - GIRL HES RUNNING#then they had the nerve to make him fall in love with her anyway boy you a VICTIM#then the second one just had [redacted] in it and I did not enjoy looking at his face for two hours - ruined the whole experience#also I have to say that was the worst iteration of Sanzang I’ve ever seen I was actually happy when I thought wukong was boutta kill him#I talk all this shit but I really did like the effects and monster designs in the movie they were so cool#also I thought the first sanzang actor was sooo cute and pathetic why didn’t they keep him 😭#well it’s for the best I wouldn’t wanna have seen him turn abusive like they wrote him in the second movie#also dsb is the only movie in which I can understand the wukong and tripitaka shippers cuz that ENDING SCENE yeah I saw it#oh right my tags sorry lol#digital art#my art#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#conquering the demons#demons strike back#sun wukong#also his glowup in between movies is so funny lmfao#if you couldn’t accept him at his conquering the demons you don’t deserve him at his demons strike back#at least dsb gave me this human version of wukong please sir just one chance just one sniff-
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sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH
bonus
#pokemon#trainer lyra#rival silver#soulsilvershipping#timeskip tag#bao beis#i had so much more planned. but alas. college.#ANYWAY. sss my everything. ohh. always thinking abt them.#this is very obviously lyra's room! all the pink! massive bed to fit all her pokemon! the champion paycheck gets you that much at least#and plants!!! no. 1 horticulturist in johto#she's living somewhere around the base of mt silver... decently close to the league and her hometown#so i like to imagine her with a huge greenhouse so she can take care of plants even in the harsher climate#meanwhile silver has one of those decrepit malelivingspace flats in viridian. he's making it work.#i can only see sss properly moving in together liiiike in their late 20s#after they get to enjoy young adult independence for a while#but before they permanently settle down they should go on silly adventures again... just once. or twice. or#as much as i like to entertain the thought of them being homebodies i think they'd rather spend their lives travelling haha#since silver never got to fully experience it as a kid on the run#being a wanted man and all#and lyra is itching for the getaway#they deserve to be in nature and responsibility-free and *frothing at the mouth*#BTW i put my whole wyvussy into that wall decor#lisia signed poster... rosa's resemblance as mei(!!!) in the totoro one... bell tower + whirl island pics //#pokemon constellations... and those gen 4 mail templates that no one actually used. probably from dawn. champion penpals :]#i debated doing a lance poster because celebrity idol funny but nah she'd bin that immediately after moving out#oh yeah the drawover was um. inspired by the nonebinary neochamp fit. so happy for my son.#i'm glad i managed to finish the big piece in time otherwise i would've just posted that LOL can you imagine#okey bye happy sss day
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Have your family or friends made any comments about you gaining so much weight? I mean, your weight gain is crazy. Also, I would like to ask, how has your life changed since you started gaining weight?
no comments—my family and friends are all wonderful, amazing people and would never comment on that sort of thing, lol!!!
it hasn’t changed too much…? i mean. i don’t fit into any of my old clothes and certain things are harder now, but i haven’t reached a tipping point yet 🤭
#i think it does shock some ppl that i’ve never gotten comments#but like. the only people who would say shit either don’t respect you or are generally not good people#i wouldn’t keep people in my life that said smthn backhanded#also this is like a weird thing to say but if ppl know you’re smarter than them they won’t say anything#at least that’s my experience LOL#like if they wanna get really mean talk about my crippling indecision and inability to commit to a single life path or career#i’m sure i’ll get some concerned comments once i reach 400 tbh#but they’ll be very nice about it god bless#and i hope to have mh feeder here so he can tease me abt it later#talk#ask
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seems to me like zac oyama is repping some experiences of asian american schoolkids, defined by such hits like 'regulate your anger,' 'communicate clearer to deliberately misunderstanding assholes,' and 'perpetual sense of unbelonging in both the american part and the asian part of your life.'
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#zac oyama#gorgug thistlespring#great stuff! I can't watch that shit for entertainment#the asian american strugglebus... feeling like an alien hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahha#this is just surface level personal experience ofc like maybe I had a very specific version of childhood#oh yeah did i mention the Designated Role you get in school lol that's fun for literally nobody who ever attended school schools suck#but education is good! try not to drop out or at least get geds they help college is a good thing check out crash course on youtube#panic rambling in the tags tonite#my thoughts#talking about my asian-ness makes me so nervous my westernized brain is yelling 'shut up! shut up!'#I enjoy gorgug being rage-ful as a treat#asian things
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#snake#snakes#pets#hognoses#hognose#sakura#sakura kurīmu#this was shortly after she joined our family and was still in her baby bin#she wanted a friend so bad she befriended the camera#this poor poor lonely noodle#it was not long after she and scoria were allowed to meet and then refused to be separated#they go in their own little sleeping hides at night#but they both get very upset if the other is away for long#they'll watch me holding the other#and sakura has a conniption if I take her sister out of the room to play in another area#they absolutely need each other#The way she initially attempted to bond with the camera reminded me of Harry Harlow's monkey experiment with surrogate monkeys#it is INCREDIBLY sad that these animals desperately wanted love and affection SO BADLY they turned to the closest they could find#which were inanimate objects that couldn't really love them back but it was better than nothing#that can't have been good for their psychological development for so so many reasons#but now that Sakura has the love and support of her sibling Scoria I don't ever intend to separate them so long as adult hormonal changes#don't suddenly make them go to sweet with each other to aggressive#again I think the agression or at least eating of smaller males comes from psychological issues not the species seeking out and eating them#like king snakes intentionally do#at least with girls I do not have experience with boys#but maybe someone with a strong understanding of snakes and their psychology and body language might pick up where I cannot examine such#once again my tags are longer than the post itself lol
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I’m sorry!! I need to know… will you continue your relapse comic???
Yes 100 percent yes. If u have only seen it on tumblr check out my twitter (@emilyriordan5) where ive been updating more pages past what ive posted here. I had been doing a page a week or a page every 2 or 3 days depending on how impatient i got lol, but in the past few weeks i took a break from updating cus 1. Im visiting a friend in another country r now 2. My part time job upped my hours and i wanna prioritize that cus i need the scratch 3. The next few months im gonna be working very hard on some animation production projects to fix my portfolio up to apply for a fellowship (ill be posting the work i do on that btw) 4. The next few months I'll also probs be very preoccupied with figuring out some stuff for a medical thing. 5. Family stüff
Ill be posting more pages soon tho, i have some partially finished ones i intend to polish as im traveling back home. The comic itself is gonna be 60 pages or so (it may balloon out to like 70, i keep on finding stuff to add lol) script is complete, thumbnail are partially complete etc.
There's no way in hell im not finishing this, i love the script too much and i wanna share it in the optimal way as a lot of it is contingent on visual communication. If i ever do give up the ghost on this project id probably at least post the script so ppl would know where i was going with the comic, but my intention as of right now is to complete it at my own pace. I thank you for your patience and interest!
#if u had asked me 2 weeks ago about this i also probably would have told u this comic was gonna be my last disco thing#at least for a while#but ive just started scripting a sapphic disco zine#working title 'very futuristic: a girl-liker zine' (thnx lana)#yes its gonna be a little sweet and a little spicy#mostly started it to experiement w art subjecta i never delve into#also to study anatomy and pose/body interaction#that one's gonna be a long time coming tho (lol) big backburner thing#but yeah#disco elysium#asks
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